Part 1
A beautiful Hindi song was lingering in the mind of Antara - "Tinka...Tinka...Zara...Zara...hain roshni se jaise bhara...har dil mein armaan hote to hain...bas koi...samjhe zara".http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxevgJpyYFk. Antara, a woman in her late 30s, was engrossed in preparing pizza while her mind was straying somewhere else. She thought that every other object on this planet need the light to be visible, the object like moon has to rely on the light of the Sun to illuminate, however, the Sun maintains its existence itself without the need of being charged or without the need of being dependent upon the light of some other celestial body. Antara sighed, Why does the singer sings, “bas koi…samjhe zara?" Why does she need a green signal from other person to experience the inner bliss?
Riding on the seat of the thought cycle, Antara reached her school days when her teachers used to call her "Dynamo", her parents were pride for the values she added in the family as the daughter, but today, she felt sorry for herself for being a failed wife, for being a Quitter woman! Antara distinguished her soul from the woman who lived within her. A woman who lived within was full of womanly desires and feelings that was not getting satiated.
Though, she was very happy and proud as the mother, daughter, sister and a friend, the woman residing within would not allow her to be a successful wife and Antara thinks that "I am a Failure today because of the woman within".
This woman within would get awake and shout at her every few months that “ my needs are not being fulfilled”. Antara had been fighting with her inner woman for years. A Russian writer had once written, “It does not matter where you live, unless you are not hungry”. If the hunger is of the emotional urges, she thinks, how could it be forgotten how she had been treated whenever she said that "I am hungry" to her husband! Abraham Maslow had very well explained in his theory of hierarchy of needs that when a person's basic needs are fulfilled, he/she focuses on the needs of safety and security, on the needs of love and affection, on the needs of self esteem and the fulfillment of all these needs lead the person towards self actualization.
Antara was hungry. Her hunger was of being valued, respected, accepted and loved for the way she is with all her perfections and imperfections. She had most of the time got humiliation, comparison, labels, blame, criticism and insults for all her weaknesses and on the other hand, ignorance for all that she had been adding in her husband's life. As a child, she had always thought of marriage as the synonym of "Security, Stability and Love" but she had been living in the relationship that was completely an antonym of what she had thought and dreamt. If she took her husband as the Deity (as it was instilled by her mother during her brought up), her this Deity never got pleased with her. Antara became an audience of rudest language, domestic violence, 2 forced abortions, 2 miscarriages, one minor brain hemorrhage, few days of unconsciousness and the torture to the level that she had to leave the home for so many months, again and again. The home, which was her ultimate destination, was forced to be left again and again. The family that was her ultimate goal was broken forever. What could be the life be without the destination and the goal? Despite all these, Antara had managed to remain positive and strong with her desires and dreams unless few days ago, she decided to farewell her home for the sake of dignity and peace. Today, Antara's mind was stormed with so many thoughts, past incidents and questions. She was angry and asked herself, "why should I keep believing him as the deity? What are his qualities that match the deity?” Antara puffed with distress and concentrated on her work. Well, he is not the deity. He is a Man. "To err is human". Her heart voiced, 'Maybe, it should be some perceptual mismatch between us. Maybe, it should be my limitations in not being able to understand the most important person in my life. May he always remain happy where ever he is. May he always gain prosperity and peace of the world. God Bless. '
"Mam, Are my pizzas ready?" Antara, suddenly was startled by a customer's question.
Part 2
"It won't take long, Sir", fumbled Antara; instantly trying to hide her engrossment and trying to be in present. "Why don't you take a seat?", Antara became conscious of her facial gestures and confirmed that they are the pleasant one.
"I am fine, Thanks", said the Customer who was curiously reading the list and contents of newly introduced "Signature Pizzas".
"Sure", responded Antara and joined her work again.
Antara had joined a Pizza shop after departing from her home to be on her own. No matter, whatever internal issues are in the Pizza-shop, she thought, she and the other staff members were committed to offer the quality product and quality service to the customers. It was not a big job to follow this simple rule for the Customers' satisfaction. Thinking on the large pattern, No matter whatever situation and circumstances arise in life, we all are committed to give our best value to every hour that we spend. It should again not be the big job to follow these simple rules for the Creator's satisfaction!
After the order of pizza is received, the staff member is expected to customize the quality pizza in the given time frame. In the same manner, she feels that we all are equally abided to add quality in every hour we spend and create some useful things in the given time frame by the God. She very much understands that as the customer would want the reward for every cent he pays, maybe, the God would also expect the high reward for every moment that he has allotted to our heart to continue beating. Antara's mind was running faster than her actions this time.
"Your Pizzas are ready Sir, here you go", said Antara smilingly handing over the bag of pizzas to the customer. And then she started preparing the other order while murmuring, "I spent this hour also creatively and smilingly. God, Did you hear me?"
"Did you say something, Antara?", asked the fellow worker who was working behind her.
Antara stopped placing the toppings on the pizza and smilingly quirked her head. "Oops!...No, nothing".
"The evergreen smile on your face reflects how lucky and blessed you should be in your life", said the fellow worker. Antara least liked to be the cause of worries and stress to other people and therefore, had not shared her feelings to anybody.
"Undoubtedly, I am", smiled Antara once again. This smile was not tainted with any malice in her heart as Antara truly appreciated every body and every thing in her life. She had taken every challenge as a positive lesson towards developing a close insight for the life. Antara's optimism would never allow her to quit the life. And Antara started humming the song, "Tinka...Tinka...Zara...Zara...hain roshni se jaise bhara...har dil mein armaan hote to hain...bas koi...samjhe zara" just for entertaining herself.
The zest of every Love story may not only be "And they lived happily ever after", it may also be "And they learnt to experience inner bliss".
(I write my first story and dedicate that to my daughter Lavanya on her 4th birthday today. After my son Aaditya, Lavanya has arrived as an added blessing to my family. I pride and love to consist a beautiful family. Any resemblance in this story to the life of any living or dead person could be merely a coincidence. :) )
A beautiful Hindi song was lingering in the mind of Antara - "Tinka...Tinka...Zara...Zara...hain roshni se jaise bhara...har dil mein armaan hote to hain...bas koi...samjhe zara".http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxevgJpyYFk. Antara, a woman in her late 30s, was engrossed in preparing pizza while her mind was straying somewhere else. She thought that every other object on this planet need the light to be visible, the object like moon has to rely on the light of the Sun to illuminate, however, the Sun maintains its existence itself without the need of being charged or without the need of being dependent upon the light of some other celestial body. Antara sighed, Why does the singer sings, “bas koi…samjhe zara?" Why does she need a green signal from other person to experience the inner bliss?
Riding on the seat of the thought cycle, Antara reached her school days when her teachers used to call her "Dynamo", her parents were pride for the values she added in the family as the daughter, but today, she felt sorry for herself for being a failed wife, for being a Quitter woman! Antara distinguished her soul from the woman who lived within her. A woman who lived within was full of womanly desires and feelings that was not getting satiated.
Though, she was very happy and proud as the mother, daughter, sister and a friend, the woman residing within would not allow her to be a successful wife and Antara thinks that "I am a Failure today because of the woman within".
This woman within would get awake and shout at her every few months that “ my needs are not being fulfilled”. Antara had been fighting with her inner woman for years. A Russian writer had once written, “It does not matter where you live, unless you are not hungry”. If the hunger is of the emotional urges, she thinks, how could it be forgotten how she had been treated whenever she said that "I am hungry" to her husband! Abraham Maslow had very well explained in his theory of hierarchy of needs that when a person's basic needs are fulfilled, he/she focuses on the needs of safety and security, on the needs of love and affection, on the needs of self esteem and the fulfillment of all these needs lead the person towards self actualization.
Antara was hungry. Her hunger was of being valued, respected, accepted and loved for the way she is with all her perfections and imperfections. She had most of the time got humiliation, comparison, labels, blame, criticism and insults for all her weaknesses and on the other hand, ignorance for all that she had been adding in her husband's life. As a child, she had always thought of marriage as the synonym of "Security, Stability and Love" but she had been living in the relationship that was completely an antonym of what she had thought and dreamt. If she took her husband as the Deity (as it was instilled by her mother during her brought up), her this Deity never got pleased with her. Antara became an audience of rudest language, domestic violence, 2 forced abortions, 2 miscarriages, one minor brain hemorrhage, few days of unconsciousness and the torture to the level that she had to leave the home for so many months, again and again. The home, which was her ultimate destination, was forced to be left again and again. The family that was her ultimate goal was broken forever. What could be the life be without the destination and the goal? Despite all these, Antara had managed to remain positive and strong with her desires and dreams unless few days ago, she decided to farewell her home for the sake of dignity and peace. Today, Antara's mind was stormed with so many thoughts, past incidents and questions. She was angry and asked herself, "why should I keep believing him as the deity? What are his qualities that match the deity?” Antara puffed with distress and concentrated on her work. Well, he is not the deity. He is a Man. "To err is human". Her heart voiced, 'Maybe, it should be some perceptual mismatch between us. Maybe, it should be my limitations in not being able to understand the most important person in my life. May he always remain happy where ever he is. May he always gain prosperity and peace of the world. God Bless. '
"Mam, Are my pizzas ready?" Antara, suddenly was startled by a customer's question.
Part 2
"It won't take long, Sir", fumbled Antara; instantly trying to hide her engrossment and trying to be in present. "Why don't you take a seat?", Antara became conscious of her facial gestures and confirmed that they are the pleasant one.
"I am fine, Thanks", said the Customer who was curiously reading the list and contents of newly introduced "Signature Pizzas".
"Sure", responded Antara and joined her work again.
Antara had joined a Pizza shop after departing from her home to be on her own. No matter, whatever internal issues are in the Pizza-shop, she thought, she and the other staff members were committed to offer the quality product and quality service to the customers. It was not a big job to follow this simple rule for the Customers' satisfaction. Thinking on the large pattern, No matter whatever situation and circumstances arise in life, we all are committed to give our best value to every hour that we spend. It should again not be the big job to follow these simple rules for the Creator's satisfaction!
After the order of pizza is received, the staff member is expected to customize the quality pizza in the given time frame. In the same manner, she feels that we all are equally abided to add quality in every hour we spend and create some useful things in the given time frame by the God. She very much understands that as the customer would want the reward for every cent he pays, maybe, the God would also expect the high reward for every moment that he has allotted to our heart to continue beating. Antara's mind was running faster than her actions this time.
"Your Pizzas are ready Sir, here you go", said Antara smilingly handing over the bag of pizzas to the customer. And then she started preparing the other order while murmuring, "I spent this hour also creatively and smilingly. God, Did you hear me?"
"Did you say something, Antara?", asked the fellow worker who was working behind her.
Antara stopped placing the toppings on the pizza and smilingly quirked her head. "Oops!...No, nothing".
"The evergreen smile on your face reflects how lucky and blessed you should be in your life", said the fellow worker. Antara least liked to be the cause of worries and stress to other people and therefore, had not shared her feelings to anybody.
"Undoubtedly, I am", smiled Antara once again. This smile was not tainted with any malice in her heart as Antara truly appreciated every body and every thing in her life. She had taken every challenge as a positive lesson towards developing a close insight for the life. Antara's optimism would never allow her to quit the life. And Antara started humming the song, "Tinka...Tinka...Zara...Zara...hain roshni se jaise bhara...har dil mein armaan hote to hain...bas koi...samjhe zara" just for entertaining herself.
The zest of every Love story may not only be "And they lived happily ever after", it may also be "And they learnt to experience inner bliss".
(I write my first story and dedicate that to my daughter Lavanya on her 4th birthday today. After my son Aaditya, Lavanya has arrived as an added blessing to my family. I pride and love to consist a beautiful family. Any resemblance in this story to the life of any living or dead person could be merely a coincidence. :) )
If nobody, the professional counselor can always aid you.
