Stress Management
Stress is an emotional transmitted disease and can be called ETD.
There is a great paradox that even though we have different technological appliances with us in this era that aid us and make our work faster and easier, the level of stress that we experience is far more than the previous generations.
Stress is one of the important factor that makes YOU the ASSET into the Liability.
It is therefore very important to find out the root cause of Stress.
We get more stressed by our negative emotions associated with work than by any other thing. If we start enjoying our work, we do not find stress in the work. It is also about our belief system. How we believe about the thing. For an example, by associating the work with the tiredness, unpleasant experience or something forced on us, we are likely to suffer while doing that work. Proper time management and organization always help us to do the work without the stress. We can also think about other causes that make us stressed.
Readers Digest once revealed that the damage that the stress related illnesses do to the German economy annually is staggering $65 billion! Think about the effects and damage of stress on whole world!
Most of the people lag behind in their lives not because of lack of opportunity in their life but because of their inability to manage stress.
Do you know? When we face mental agony, we dont give time to find internal factor. We blame on external factors as the cause of Stress and that could not be true!
For an example, if we are physically ill, our G.P. may prescribe us two pills. One for relieving pain and the other for healing our illnesses. The external factors could be compared with the pain reliever which does not really help us in curing our root problem even if we change the outside factors for a while. We could not make a real difference on our stress by having an alcoholic drink, by watching a movie, by having some drugs, or by possessing the luxury. That is the short term remedy. By finding the root cause, we help our selves permanently.
If we do not give attention to our stress related illnesses, it aggravates gradually. As in the above example, the person could not get cured by only having the 'pain reliever', in case of stress related illnesses, a person could not help himself by thinking about the short term remedy to be happy, relaxed and calm.
Stress is a subjective issue. For an example, if we talk about a person who craved for cigarettes madly for 4 days when he was in the rural area where there was no availability of cigarettes and if that person says that the root cause for his stress is 'unavailability of cigarettes' that might not be true. Because there might be many people who abhor even the smell of cigarettes or the smoke that it emits. If cigarettes could be the cause of the stress, it should be, for everybody. The external causes of stress could not be true. Stress is produced from within. It is produced through our belief system. It is not the difficult spouse/boss/colleague or situation that is causing stress because Stress is not the outer factor.
So long as you would find the cause outside, your inner self would remain stressed.
You have the ability to control your reactions, not other people's behavior.
The other person's behavior is the respond or reaction to your behavior. So if you change your behavior, you change others behavior.
There is a story of a daughter-in-law whose husband was the only son of his mother. The mother-in-law was very fussy with her behavior and argued even if the daughter-in-law kept the cups in 46 degree angle instead of 45 degree angle.
The daughter-in-law got very much fed up with her such routine problem and after some months, when she got a chance, she went to a Saint for aid. She told him all her problems with her MIL and requested to help her in this situation. The Saint convinced her to work with him on a plan to kill her MIL as a permanent solution to her problem. He gave her a bottle and asked her to add a drop of that liquid that was poisonous and the MIL would die within 10 to 12 months. The Saint assured that nobody would know about this and the life would become prosperous like never before to her. Apart from this, the saint advised the lady to follow his two conditions while she practices his advise of diluting the drops in MIL's food. He asked the lady to go to her MIL every morning and touch her feet (to show the reverence, as per the culture) and ask her lovingly what she would like to eat that day. The lady was advised to prepare every dish of her MIL's choice and add a drop of that poison into it.
Well, the lady had not expected such kind of solution but as she respected and believed the Saint very much, she believed everything he said and accepted that bottle hesitantly and followed his advises firmly in the routine.
After the elapse of 10 months, the same lady came full of tears to the Saint, and started requesting the Saint to do some miracle and do something to alleviate the effect of whatever poison she has been adding in her MIL's food all these days. She could not see her MIL dying. She said that her MIL had totally changed and is now more loving and caring than even her own mother. It was, no doubt, a gradual change in her MIL and that was terrifically surprising. She said that her life is very much blessed one now and her MIL is now a valuable asset to her life. She could not even think of letting her die!
The Saint confirmed if it is her final decision and later said that she does not need to worry as that was not the bottle of poison but the bottle of sugar syrup.
The moral of the story is that the behavior of other people with us is the reaction of our behavior. As Vedanta principles say that every reaction carries re-reaction, the issue become larger and gets aggravated over time. We can make life easy by being PROACTIVE and not by being REACTIVE.
Suffering is the reaction. Learn accepting the things as they are. Accept them without complaining. We cant blame the Winter for the cold temperature as that is it's basic nature. We cant blame the Summer for the heat in the weather because that is its basic quality. What we can do is being adjusting and accepting. We can be adjusting by wearing warm clothes in Winter and enjoying the season for its special feature. We can be adjusting in Summer by wearing light clothes and enjoying its special characteristics. Whether it is weather or people, they are special for their qualities and that makes them unique in their sense. We can be accepting and adjusting to enjoy their unique qualities. The best thing that we can do for ourselves is being helpful to ourselves and saving ourselves from reacting to others behavior.
When the weather changes, change your mind. When you resist change, you suffer. Be flexible.
We expect the other people in the way, we think is right. However, what is RIGHT to us may not always be right to others.
( I remember one short story on this. Two man were quarreling. The third man arrived over there and asked what is happening. The first man stated and explained his problem. The third man said "You are Right". The second man then after explained his problem. The third man said that "You are right too". The fourth man who has been watching all these, went to the third man and asked him, how could they both be right at the same time? The third man replied, "Well, I think that You are right too!")
Stress is a mental agitation created by unfulfilled desires.We are stressed when the situation or condition is not acceptable to us.
Man - Desires = God
How desires cause Stress?
1. Object of desire is not available.
2. Object of desire is not contactable.
3. Object of desire changes. (For an example, if I buy a very expensive car and after some days, if I come to know that there is the latest model introduced in the market that I could have bought with the same budget, I get stressed).
4. Mind changes or loses the value of any object.
5. We are not permitted to contact the object of desire.
Stress/Unhappiness is the distance or gap between the expectation and reality.
Therefore the means to Happiness is Either expect less and accept the reality or expect more and turn it into a Reality!
It takes guts, passion, excellence, vision, courage and perseverance to convert the desires into reality.
TYPES OF DESIRES:
Controlled by Intellect Uncontrolled by Intellect
Goal Greed
Ideal Aversion
Ambition Craving
Aspiration Obsession
Purpose Yearning
and all these leads to....
PEACE STRESS
Desires create stressful emotions.
Emotions play havoc of intelligent people. Develop an intellect to control the desires. Desire is an evil between the man and the God. Thus, Man - Desires = God.
Do you know? "When our object of desire is achieved or fulfilled, we develop negative emotion with it.
For an example, after having a toy, a child longs for a tricycle, after possessing a tricycle, the child may long for a bicycle, after having a bicycle, at some stage, he may wish to have a motor cycle or a car and thus desires remain unfulfilled. The negative relation with the gained object always causes 'Unhappiness'. We need to be accepting and being happy with whatever we have.
Love is different than attachment. Love means sacrifice. The person who loves others does not have any conditions or expectations to show his this feelings. He is ready to sacrifice everything for his love. All the rest is attachment. Attachment is linked with the expectations and conditions. We are attached to one thing or other only if our conditions or expectations are fulfilled! It is not wise to waste lot of our mental energy by being Stressed most of the time because of the unavailability of the object of our attachment!
Remember that Unfulfilled desires results into Clouded thinking which results in Delusion and ultimately in the CRASH!
A CLEAR HEAD AND A MATURE HEART IS ALWAYS A FORMIDABLE COMBINATION. - Mother Teressa
The difference between 'Running a business' and 'Ruining a business' is just 'I'. CONTROL 'I'.
Below are some photos of the event by Mr. Angajan. Dont miss reading 7 laws of Emotion and the beautiful lesson of 'Self Transformation' from the slides below.
I have tried documenting the research by Mr. Angajan on 'Stress Management'.
Hope you enjoy reading that.
Anuradha
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